L'optimisme, ce n'est pas le refus de voir ce qui ne va pas, c'est le désir de ne pas s'y attarder. // Donne moi le courage de changer les choses que je peux changer, la sérénité d'accepter celles que je ne peux pas changer, et la sagesse de distinguer entre les deux. (Marc Aurèle) // Don't raise your voice; improve your argument. (Desmond Tutu) // Be the change you want to see in the world. (Gandhi)


Call Center:         Hi, this is Google Pizza, how may I help you?
Mr.Smith:            Google what? 
Call Center:         Google Pizza. What would you like to order?
Mr.Smith:            But I was calling Papa Luc Pizza...
Call Center:         That’s right, it used to be Papa. Google is the new owner, and we are now offering a full range of services!
Mr.Smith:            Great! Can you take my order?
Call Center:         Absolutely! Your usual? 
Mr.Smith:            My usual? How do you know?
Call Center:         We have your caller ID; in the last 53 calls from this number the order was for a large Hawaiian Pizza  with extra cheese and ham, and also a super cold large bottle of Coke.
Mr.Smith:            Wow, that’s something new! … Ok, all the same order!
Call Center:         Excuse me, can I make a suggestion?
Mr.Smith:            Sure!
Call Center:         Do you know our new full menu?
Mr.Smith:            No
Call Center:         We have the most comprehensive menu. I would recommend you a cottage cheese and salad pizza with a bottle of low-salt carbonated water. 
Mr.Smith:            Cottage cheese and salad? Low salt? I hate these things! Are you nuts?
Call Center:         That’s understandable, it’s for your own health. Besides, your cholesterol is very high...
Mr.Smith:            How do you know?
Call Center:         Our company maintains the largest database on Earth. With your phone number we know your name, and can access your medical test records....
Mr.Smith:            I don't give a damn about your database! I don't want your cheese-and-salad pizza! I take proper medications and therefore I can eat whatever I want, isn't that clear?
Call Center:         Sorry, but recently you weren't taking your medications.
Mr.Smith:            How the hell do you know? Are you spying on me?
Call Center:         Not at all! We happen to be managing databases for all city pharmacies, and the last time you filled your prescription was 3 months ago. And, there were only 30 pills in the bottle.
Mr.Smith:            Damn your right! But how did you know?
Call Center:         From your credit card records...
Mr.Smith:            What?
Call Center:         Well, every time you pay with your points credit card at the pharmacy, you get a discount. We maintain all the records. Over the last 3 months, you haven’t purchased anything at the pharmacy, but used your card in other places. Which means, you haven't lost or replaced it.
Mr.Smith:            Son of a gun… But what if I paid cash? Ah?
Call Center:         Impossible. You’re only paying cash $100 a week to your maid. As for the rest, you are only paying with your credit card
Mr.Smith:            You bastards! How do you know how much I'm paying to the maid?
Call Center:         Well, she is paying social insurance...
Mr.Smith:            Go to hell!
Call Center:         It's up to you. Sorry for your disappointment, but all this information is right at my screen, and I'm only trying to be helpful. You'd better visit your doctor, and fine-tune your dosage according to your last month tests...
Mr.Smith:            Listen, you… I’m fed up with you, your computers, your databases and the Internet! And Google, and Facebook, and Twitter, and no privacy in this 21st century, and the Big Brother watching …
Call Center:         Please, take it easy.. Getting frustrated doesn't do you any good...
Mr.Smith:            Shut up! I’m leaving tomorrow! I will go far, far away from all this crap. To a remote island, wherever, without the Internet, computers, phones and people spying on me...
Call Center:         I understand you...
Mr.Smith:            For the last time I'll use my credit card to buy my airline ticket to the very end of the earth!
Call Center:         Good...
Mr.Smith:            Cancel my pizza order. I no longer want it!
Call Center:         Sure, all done! But if you allow me, one last thing…
Mr.Smith:            WHAT?!
Call Center:         I would like to remind you that your passport has expired.

What a new crazy and scary world ! 

No comments: